Posts from 2005

December 8th 2005
Dear Friends and Family,
This update comes to you asking for your continued prayer. As time goes by, I know that prayer can wane. Antonia still has much need for prayer as well as Dean and the whole family. Antonia's progress right now is slow. The main area of needed prayer is regarding the surgery needed to correct the calcification in her elbow. Last Monday, November 28th, Dean and Antonia met with the surgeon to consult about the needed surgery. The meeting was somewhat disappointing. The surgeon explained to Dean that the surgery is very involved and that the risks associated with it may possibly outweigh the benefits or what she may gain. I (Gina) was very misunderstood about the cause of the calcification and also about the required treatment. I was under the impression that it was a somewhat simple procedure whereby they would do a laser surgery to break up the calcification and that she would then regain use of that arm. I also thought that the calcification was from Antonia being in the coma. Neither of these are true or correct. I am not sure how or why I thought this, but I tell it to you now for the reason of clearing up anyone else's possible misunderstanding or in case I have misled anyone.
Well, with that said, let me clear up even further. Apparently this calcification is a direct result of the traumatic brain injury. They (the doctors) can not explain the direct connection between the calcification and the brain injury or how or why exactly it happens but they do see it quite often in brain injury patients. The surgery to attempt to correct it is quite long (4-5 hours) and is very complicated. They have to work around the major nerve that runs through your arm and that controls all motor skills in her hands (i.e. grabbing, pinching, squeezing, writing, etc.). There is the possibility of her losing the ability to do some of the things she can do now with that hand if the surgery does not go well. How the doctor explained it to Dean was that they really need to weigh the risks vs. the benefits. Even if they can successfully remove the calcification without damaging the nerve, there is a 10% chance that it will grow back. Dean is asking for your fervent prayers for him for wisdom and discernment as to whether or not to go ahead with the surgery.
As you know, Antonia still does not have any use of the left side of her body. It is possible that it is not God's will that it will ever be healed. If that is so, her right hand abilities are all she will have and Dean is not sure whether to risk her losing all that she may ever have. Please pray that God would show him clearly what is the right thing to do. Certainly we know that God can heal her through this means (the surgery) if it is His will. Please pray for Dean as he waits on the Lord's direction.
Also, Antonia's therapy benefits will be exhausted very soon (within the month). This means that they will no longer pay for her to go for therapy as an outpatient. It will now be Dean's full responsibility to schedule and pay for all therapy. Antonia has reached a plateau in her current therapy and really needs to be worked more aggressively and regularly. Dean would like to set up a gym in their home with the medical equipment needed to provided therapy for her at home. He is also considering hiring someone full time to assist him and Mary in doing the required therapy. How this will work is they will consult with Antonia's current physical therapist as to what exercises to do, provide the therapy at home and chart her progress. The p.t. will see her about 1 time a month in order to see if she is ready to move on to new or different exercises.
Please pray that God will work in the hearts of the people at the companies we are trying to work with to acquire the needed equipment. For those in the family who are trying to think of a gift for Christmas, a monetary gift to help with buying this equipment might be an idea.
I know this is a really busy time of year and we really appreciate all your continued prayers and support.
May you all have a very blessed Christmas as we remember the incarnation, and rejoice that our Lord Jesus Christ came to recreate the world and bring hope to those with brain injuries.

Much love and peace to you,

Gina (on behalf of Dean)

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10/28/05

Dear family and friends,

It has now been one year since Antonia's accident. God has been so good and so faithful in healing her thus far. Although she still has a long road ahead of her, we are confident that God is working in her and in all of us for His good purposes. We are currently in the process of putting together a specific list of past prayers and God's direct answers during this past year. However, because this may take a few days we wanted to let you know of some recent progress that she has made.

Antonia is now coming off the last of the medications that she was on. She seems to be doing much better as far as her disposition and not being so groggy since she has been off the other meds. However, the outcome of her coming off this final med is still unsure. Overall, we believe it was a wise decision and feel it will be and is to her benefit. Another area of progress these past few weeks has been her ability to let us know when she needs to use the bathroom. She has been doing that quite well and is now using a bedpan pretty regularly. Her articulation (the ability to speak and be understood) continues to improve. However, her lack of short term memory is still an issue that needs much prayer. Also, she has been regularly having some pain in her left leg and we are not sure if it is from not moving or possibly from nerves that are now responding that were not previously. The in home therapy will be ending soon and we will have to take her out to therapy (approximately 20 min. south). Please pray that the details of this would go well. We are currently trying to get some exercise equipment for her at our home so that she can do her therapy daily, and not just when she goes out. We are excited to report that we have had one company, Stamina Products, respond very generously by offering to donate a recumbent bike for her.

In closing, we would once again like to thank all of you who continue to pray for and support Antonia and her family. Also, following is a poem that Dean's mother wrote commemorating the one year "anniversary" of Antonia's accident.

Sincerely,
Gina (on behalf of Dean)


MEMORIES

It’s been a year, since we first shed those tears, when our world was changed and we faced our worst fears!
Oct.25-2004, would be engraved in our hearts forever more.

It was a phone call from a loving son,
for urgent prayer to his mom.
The news that no one wants to hear!
My heart is heavy and full of fear!
Antonia has fallen from a horse,
and hit her head full force.

Mom, please pray!

The request when out across the miles,
people began praying in fervent style.As Antonia lies in a coma state,
mere mortal men tell us her fate...
The news not good her recovery sinking,
But what they didn't know is that we serve the King!

Our Father in heaven taught us to pray,
when our spirit was weak and we don’t know what to say. He taught us to trust in good days and bad,
and to call to him when life’s really sad.
He showed us how family could pull together,
to give, love and support which space could not sever.
God has been good, been faithful and true,
in showing his miracles as only he could do!

Every day is a blessing, we have seen God's hand,
as he walks with the family and teaches Antonia to stand.
God gives the strength to face each day,
to look to his son and hear him say,
“My grace is sufficient for you today”

Antonia we love you and we continue to pray that that God will heal you completely, and maybe today is that day!
Love,
Mom


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Sent: Wednesday, September 28, 2005 12:28 PM

Dear Friends and Family,

Just a quick update to thank you once again for praying for Antonia. God is faithful and has once again shown His mercy and love to us in answering yet another prayer.

In our last update we had asked for prayer for wisdom for Dean and the medical team in regards to Antonia's medications. About a week ago, Dean and Mary decided to take her off 2 of the medications she had been put on at the University of Washington. As noted in the last update, we had been feeling that perhaps they were doing more harm than good. She often seemed drowsy and possibly overmedicated. The doctors had said that it would just take time to get into her system. However, she continued to seem worse instead of better. Since she has been off the meds, there has been a significant change in her attitude and disposition. As a matter of fact, they noticed the change almost immediately. Her worst day OFF the medications has been better than her BEST day ON the medications. As a result of this more positive attitude and disposition, she has been doing better in all other areas - eating, sleeping, therapy, communicating, etc.

It has also been mentioned by one of her therapists that she is almost, if not completely, past the level in her recovery that has been so characterized by anger. This has been a specific area of prayer for many months and we are so thankful to God for this.

Thanking our God,
Gina (on behalf of Dean)


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Sent: Sat 9/10/05 10:30 AM
Dear family and friends,

Hello to all and thank you for your prayers and concern as we continue on this long and difficult road. Antonia continues to make progress although we have a few set backs to report during this past week. She completed her therapy at the University of Washington on Saturday, September 3rd, and came home. However, on Sunday evening they had to take her to the emergency room because she had been vomiting all day. They kept her in the hospital and ran a number of tests to determine what was the cause of the nausea and vomiting. It was finally determined that it appeared to be a reaction to one of the medications that she was taking. She remained in the hospital until Thursday, September 8th.

She continues to have a wide range of unstable emotions such as anger, distress, confusion, etc. And, her short term memory is still very minimal. This makes so many things difficult for her and for those around her. You can comfort her one minute with prayer, words of encouragement, etc., but a few minutes later she does not remember those words and asks the same questions or expresses the same distressed spirit. There is also much uncertainty on the part of the medical team treating her as to what medications will benefit her. At times it even seems that she is perhaps over medicated because of her drowsiness, yet the doctors say this is only temporary until the medication gets into her system.

Please pray that God would make it clear to Dean and to the medical team involved as too what course to take regarding her medications, for wisdom and understanding as to what is best for her in this area of her recovery. But, perhaps most of all, let us plead with God to give her His peace, His joy and His strength. Please pray that God would give much grace to Dean and to Mary as they care for her at home once again.

On a more positive note, she does have good days where she is happy and motivated to work hard. She did make a lot of progress during her time at the University. She learned how to wash her face, brush her teeth, etc with the help of an extension, as she is still unable to bend her one useful arm all the way. She is supposed to be going in for the surgery on her elbow to fix the calcification. After this is done, she will be able to do so much more. Please pray that this would be scheduled soon and that it will go well. She is eating all regular food now and her feeding tube is only being used to give her extra fluids. She is trying to speak a lot more now and although it is labored and quite distorted at times, those that are around her all the time can communicate with her pretty well.

Here is a brief summary of the above prayer requests:
1 - Wisdom for Dean & doctors regarding her medications
2 - Increase in short term memory
3 - God's peace, joy and strength for Antonia
4 - Grace for Dean & Mary in caring for her and the children
5 - Timely & successful surgery for her elbow calcification

Thank you all so much who faithfully go to God on her behalf. May God bless you all as you seek His face.

Psalm 34:1-22

Sincerely,
Gina (on behalf of Dean)

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Sent: Friday, August 19, 2005 4:46 PM

Dear family and friends,

Well, it has been a little over 3 weeks now since Antonia was admitted to the University of Washington's Neuro Rehab Center. The first week to10 days were discouraging and difficult as she was very distressed much of the time and didn’t seem to be going forwards, but backwards. The first week they tried altering her medications in an attempt to improve the storming of her emotions, which were all over the map. During this time she didn't seem to make much progress or have the will or motivation to really try hard. We were a bit concerned that they would not take this all into consideration as they spoke of discharging her much earlier than any of us expected. However, after the first week and a half her emotions improved and she began making steady progress in all areas. And recently she has had a number of very good days where she has been amazing the therapists (that is because God is hearing the prayers of his people).

Dean was told yesterday at the weekly meeting that they have decided to extend her therapy for another 2 weeks. They are very encouraged and excited about her progress, particularly the last several days. Here is a brief overview of their most recent progress report:

- Slight movements in left arm involving biceps, triceps and forearm. (This is wonderful as it appears there is some integrity on her left side)
- left leg moving more (up until now she has not really had any movement or use of her left side)
- She can roll over, shift herself in bed
- She can sit up on the side of bed supporting herself for over 1 minute
- She can be transferred now from wheelchair to bed and vice versa with only one person to help her. (She does most of the standing motion herself with minimal support or help.)
- Her ability to care for herself is improving...she is helping get dressed, wash face (with extension... as she still cannot bend her arm very far)
-her eating has improved. She is now eating solid foods except sharp or hard things like pretzels, etc. She can drink and uses a straw as well. She really likes ice cream!!!! But then again, who doesn't?!?!?
- Her speech is improving both in quality and in quantity; she is using her lips and tongue better and mixing gestures with verbal communication.
-Her short term memory is improving a little, she remembers the names of a couple of her current therapists and she usually remembers what happened to her.
-Her neck is a lot stronger and she is holding her head up for over an hour at a time now

For all of this we greatly rejoice and praise our God. Isn’t he good?
There are two specific areas of prayer that we would greatly appreciate if you could give special attention to them. Please pray that God would give her His peace—she is very distressed in her soul at times. She will often cry out that she doesn’t want to die, and say that she feels like she is in hell. She needs God’s comfort and an understanding that he is her only hope. Part of the problem is her memory—she can be comforted with the truth about who God is and what he has done, but two minutes later she forgets that you even had the conversation. This leads to the second prayer request—her memory. Pray that God would heal her short-term and some long-term memory.

Thanks to all of you who have sent such encouraging and heartfelt letters to her. I started reading them to her this week and Dean said that she seemed calmer as I read it to her and even responded by trying to repeat something I read in the letter about this trial in her life. She repeated "trial", "trial". If anybody else would like to send her a note you can send it to me at greg7gina@comcast.net. I plan on calling her each day and reading one letter to her, and then later on I will put them all together in a keepsake book for her. Any pictures I will send to Dean to show to her.

Thank you all for your continued prayers for my sister and her family.

Rejoicing in God's great faithfulness,

Gina (on behalf of Dean)

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Sent: Tuesday, August 09, 2005 3:53 PM
Hello everyone,As you know, Antonia, is now at the University of Washington receiving aggresive physical, occupational and speech therapy. I desire greatly to be there with her to encourage her in this difficult time but it cannot be so. I am putting together a sort-of book with notes of encouragement to send to her in the hopes that it will lift her spirits and encourage her to fight hard!!! If anyone would like to send something to include in this book (it can be a personal note, letter, scripture verses, an encouraging or funny story, special memories, photos, etc - anything you feel would encourage her) - you may send it to me at: greg7gina@comcast.net or Gina Gardner 8400 Copperpenny Terr, Chesterfield, VA 23832. Her success at this center depends greatly on her attitude and her will to fight. However, it is most important that we continue to pray for God to give her healing, strength and a thankful heart. Thank you all for the many ways you have shown your love and kindness to my dear sister and her family during these past 10 months. In Christ Alone, http://www.helpantonia.org/Gina John 13:35 By this all will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another.
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Dear friends and family,

Oh, give thanks to the Lord, for He is good! For His mercy endures forever....Psalm 136

On Tuesday, July 26th, Antonia was admitted into the University of Washington's Neuro Rehab Center. She is now receiving extensive physical, occupational, and speech therapy several hours a day. They push her as much as she can handle six days a week. She will be living at this center for at approximately 4 weeks, possibly longer. Dean would once again like to thank everyone who has prayed so diligently. God continues to be faithful in answering each of our prayers in His own perfect timing.

Antonia continues to get stronger. She is in a standing table almost every day. She can now support herself in a sitting up position on the side of the bed for about 1 minute. She is able to hold up and control her head much better also. She is eating more puréed food and requires almost zero tube feeding, and is even chewing some foods. It shouldn't be too long until the feeding tube can be removed.

Antonia continues to exhibit anger at times and a distressed spirit. We have been told that this is a normal phase or level in her recovery. Please pray that this phase would pass quickly; we long to see glimpses of the Antonia that we know and love...her smile, her joy, her thankfulness. Pray that God would give her joy, peace, comfort and contentment. Please also pray that her quality and articulation of speech will improve. She is attempting to speak more but it is difficult to understand and therefore limits her ability to communicate and adds to her frustration.

Your prayers mean a lot to us. We know God is hearing and answering them in ways that prove his timing and results are much better than ours. As you pray, remember that our God is able to do more than we can think or imagine, and has not once proven himself unfaithful.

With sincere thanks,
Gina (on behalf of Dean)

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Friday, July 15, 2005 2:24 PM
Dear family and friends,

Well, once again we have much to thank God for and to report to you all. Antonia is making more progress each month. She has now said two full sentences...they are... "What did I do?" and "I don't want to die." We would perhaps wish that she said something more encouraging, but it is good to hear her speaking and know that she is able. It also gives insight and opportunity to communicate with her about how she is feeling and dealing with her current situation. Being able to speak some and communicate how she feels seems to make her happy.

She continues to do well with eating soft foods and is even able to chew some things. It is possible that soon she will be able to eat enough to sustain herself without the feeding tube and it may be able to be removed. She continues to get stronger with the consistent therapy she has been getting. They are having her stand up with the help of a special walker and she is able to put all her weight on her right leg for several minutes at a time. She is still not able to purposely use her left leg, but it is getting stronger with the physical therapy.

Her doctor and therapists agree that she is strong enough to handle aggressive therapy at this time and they are trying to get her admitted into the University of Washington's Neuro-Rehab center for treatment. She would live there for 4 to 8 weeks or more depending upon her progress. At this point they are waiting for Medicaid to agree to pay for this therapy. Please pray that this process would go through smoothly. It seems that she is at a good point in her rehabilitation to begin this type of therapy. They may also be able to begin to determine what to do about the calcification in her right elbow. It prohibits her from bending her right arm to her mouth or face, as a result, it prevents her from doing useful things with the only arm she has control over. Please pray also that they would deal with this issue promptly. It would help greatly with her level of independent activities as she would be able to begin to try to feed herself, comb her hair, brush her teeth, etc. if she had full use of that arm. Please also pray that her fine motor skills would begin to improve, as it would help her perform tasks.

Thank you once again for your continued concern for her progress and your many prayers.

Sincerely,
Gina (on behalf of Dean)

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June 28th 2005

Dear Family and Friends,

Well, its time again for another update. Thanks be to God that we do have many things to update. Antonia has again made more progress in the past two weeks. She took a swallow test at the hospital about a week ago and she did well. She is now able to eat (by mouth) some soft foods like soups, applesauce, pureed fruits, pudding, yogurt, etc. She is doing very well with this and is enjoying it immensely (as you can imagine). She also has said five things: hi, yes, no, help and I love you. Her speech is still quite unclear and labored, but you can make out what she is saying—most of the time. She continues with her therapy several days a week and is getting physically stronger. She still does not have use of the left side of her body, but the therapists have been doing some resistance exercises with her that they believe will strengthen that side by counter resistance. She has actually moved her left leg, but usually only when resistance is put on the right side.

The physical therapist who has been working with her is trying to get her into the University of Washington's physical therapy program and this may involve her actually living at the facility for 4-8 weeks and receiving approximately 5 hours a day of therapy. Please pray that the details of this would work out. The therapists working with her believes she is ready and that she would profit greatly from such therapy.

She continues to have many "bad days" where she is frustrated and has outbursts of anger. Please pray for much grace and peace for her as she seems to get sad, frustrated and angry for various reasons. This is fairly common with brain injuries, as the emotional system becomes somewhat unstabilized. Please also pray for Dean and Mary (Antonia's mom) as they persevere in caring for her needs as well as the children.

In God's providence, a young woman from their church was in need of a job and wanted to work alongside them and help with Antonia, the children and the household needs. She is an answer to prayer as they were having a difficult time getting someone from the home health company who would actually show up and do what they needed her to do. Once again we see God's awesome hand in even the smaller details.

One last thing to update which happened just this past Saturday...Antonia got a hold of and pulled out the feeding tube in her stomach. They covered it with gauze and took her to the hospital. She wasn't in any real danger and it didn't seem to have hurt her, but not a good thing none the less. She seemed to think it funny when they spoke of what she did. She definitely has a different sense of humor than usual these days.

Well, that's all for now. Thanks again to all of you who continue to pray.

Sincerely,
Gina (on behalf of Dean)

2 Corinthians 4:16-18 Therefore we do not lose heart. Even though our outward man is perishing, yet the inward man is being renewed day by day. For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, is working for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory, while we do not look at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen. For the things which are seen are temporary, but the things which are not seen are eternal.

Ephesians 3:20 Now to Him who is able to do exceeding abundantly beyond all that we ask or think, according to the power that works within us, to Him be the glory in the church and in Christ Jesus to all generations forever and ever. Amen.
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June 10, 2005
Dear Family and Friends,
Once again I apologize for the infrequency of the updates. However, there is much to update you with, so I assure you, it will be worth the wait. On May 23rd, Antonia came home from the rehab center she had been living at. The first two weeks were extremely difficult and exhausting as we were not completely prepared. They do not send you home with all the information and supplies that you need, so much of the first week was just getting organized, ordering needed medical supplies, setting up therapy appointments, and working out even some of the smaller details like where to put everything when we got it. Antonia wasn’t on any kind of set schedule at Arden as far as sleeping at night. They would come in and tend to her every 2 hours around the clock so she had no nighttime sleep patterns. This was difficult for Dean during the first week as he found himself quite sleep deprived. You don’t really realize how much is involved in caring for someone at home until they are there and you’re faced with all situations at once. In spite of this, God proves Himself faithful and His timing is perfect. Many extra hands were available during this time and so many people worked together to make it all possible. Dean wishes to sincerely thank everyone who has helped by their prayers, helping hands, monetary contributions, love and support—none of this would have been possible without you. We continue to covet your prayers as there is still a very long road ahead.
Well, as far as an update on Antonia’s progress, we have much to report. She has had many good days and many bad days since she has been home. The good days are really good and the bad ones are pretty bad. She continues to have outbursts of anger quite frequently. There is no apparent pattern or specific thing that triggers them, but from asking her questions we have somewhat figured out that she is extremely frustrated and restless in her “locked-in” state. What I mean by this is the fact that she is completely aware and understands all that people say and do around her but she is unable to move (except her right hand, leg and her head) or able to speak. We understand how frustrating this must be and try to encourage her with all that she is able to do. In addition to the frustration, Dean has spoken to doctors about these “outbursts” and has been told that they are quite common with brain injuries where there is a deficit in the upper right brain.
The list of things she can now do is very long and extremely encouraging and we are seeing new things all the time. Here are some of the latest accomplishments:
1) She can write with chalk on a chalkboard pretty much anything you ask her to (although she is unable to move her hand over after each letter, so unless you move the chalkboard the letters are on top of each other). She also has trouble keeping the chalk in her grip and drops it frequently, but when she forms the letters they are very obvious. We have also written words on the board and asked her if she can show us what they are. For example, number words, from one to five that she can show on her right hand, wave, kiss and blink. From this we know she can read, write and spell. I have even asked her things like, “What are the names of your sister’s children?” And she wrote their names.
2) She can blow bubbles with the kids. This is a good speech and breathing exercise and she really enjoys it. Some days she answered no to all the things we would ask her if she wanted to do, but she always said yes to bubbles (I guess there are some things we never outgrow).
3) She is holding up her head for approximately a minute now, and this is increasing all the time.
4) She can unbuckle the seatbelt on her wheelchair. This isn’t very safe, but she is amused by her accomplishment and our reaction to it.
5) She can actually turn the right wheel of her wheelchair even with her limited use of her right arm. She has gone several feet by doing this and is particularly inspired to do it when getting to Dean is her goal.
6) She is reaching up with her right arm and grabbing things about 1-2 feet above her. Her right arm is getting very strong, although she still has the issue of the calcification in the elbow, which prevents her from bending it in all the way. She can only bend it about 30-40%.
7) We tried to teach her number hand signals for different sentences like, Thank You., How are you?, Please get Dean for me., and, I am glad to see you. She is doing pretty well with these when you quiz her, but doesn’t seem to be doing them without being prompted (except for the one to get Dean for her). She’s got that one down pat.
8) Just yesterday while Dean and the kids were saying good night to Antonia, Azaleah (their 7yr old daughter) did something she wasn’t supposed to and upset Antonia, and in response Antonia mustered out a deep and well enunciated, “No!” Dean almost fell off the bed when he heard it. This is the most incredible and exciting news in a while, as it is the first time she has ever vocalized a word.
Physical, occupational and speech therapists are now coming to the house several times a week to work with Antonia and teach Dean and Mary (Antonia’s mother who is living with them) what therapy they can do with her several times a day. She seems to be ready for aggressive therapy and usually welcomes the challenge to do something new. The therapists have said more than once that the more frequent therapy she gets the faster they feel she will grow stronger and recover. We are doing as much as we can in addition to what the therapists do with her, but there is still much time for more.
Thank you again for your continued love, support and prayers. Please pray that Dean and Mary will quickly find a suitable nursing assistant to help with Antonia’s daily care and other household needs. Please continue to pray that Dean and Mary would have God’s grace and strength to physically endure. I was only there for 3 weeks and I came home extremely exhausted and with a real sense of what is involved in caring for someone with Antonia’s needs 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. It was a great joy to be there with her and see all that she is able to do, but there is no denying the physical stamina needed. In addition to caring for Antonia there is still the regular daily needs of caring for the children, grocery shopping, housecleaning, laundry, as well as Dean’s need for time to study and prepare for his sermon. There does not seem to be enough hours in a day to accomplish all that you want to. I am sure you all can relate to this.
With much love and gratitude,
Gina (on Dean’s behalf)

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From: Gina, on behalf of DeanSent: Tuesday, May 9, 2005
Dear Family and Friends,
Dean wishes to apologize for the length of time since the last update hasbeen posted. He has been extremely busy with packing, moving, and preparingthe new house in order to bring Antonia home hopefully very soon. In aneffort to communicate updates more frequently I, (Antonia's sister, Gina)will attempt to help him with this. Much has happened since the last updateso here is a summary to get you all up-to-date:
A man in Dean's church was selling his home and it is wheelchair accessible.All the details of acquiring this finally went through and they moved intothe house 4/30. Many family and friends helped with the move and somenecessary remodeling to make the home moreuseful for their specific needs. Antonia knows about the house and Dean waseven able to take her there to see it.
Antonia continued to do well with having her trachea capped off each day andso they removed it completely on March 27th. She also continues to smileand respond to commands and daily therapy. She has been having someproblems with calcification in her right elbow and they are trying toresolve this. She also continues with her therapy including sitting up andstanding in the standing table while being strapped in. They have also been
able to take her out of the rehab center for therapy at the neurological chiropractor's office.They tried to start feeding her with canned meal replacements placed intoher feeding tube instead of the slow drip feedings she previously had. Shedid not handle this very well so they resumed the previous method. Whenthey tried again a few weeks later she seemed to handle it much better andhas been, for some time now, doing well with this method of nourishment. Shehas actually gained about 10-11 lbs. since she has been hospitalized. Herability to tolerate this method of nourishment will be helpful in caring forher at home. The speech therapists have also begun putting apple sauce onher lips. She seems to like this very much. The next step will be to try and start her on some pureed foods. The concern is that she still isn't fully able to
control her ability to swallow, and that she could choke. She is very aware of all that is going onand can respond in so many ways. She can answer by shaking her head yes andno. Her facial expressions tell a lot about how she feels (happy, sad,angry, excited, tired, etc). They have asked her things like basic mathquestions and she answers by a show of fingers.
They are hoping to begin making the necessary arrangements (bed, wheelchair,etc) to bring Antonia home in the next couple of weeks. She is still unableto move the left side of her body and has very limited movement on the right side.
She also is unable to speak or eat via her mouth.Please pray that God would continue to heal her and bring her to completeand full recovery. Please pray that all the details in bringing her homewould go smoothly and that God would continue to give Dean much comfort andwisdom in all the necessary decisions. Thank you all for your continuedprayers.
Sincerely, Gina, on behalf of Dean

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From: Dean HelleksonSent: Tuesday, March 22, 2005 12:50 PM
Dear Family and Friends,
Well, yet another week passes and I have plenty to give thanks for. I am connecting in an intimate way with Antonia more and more all the time. I often feel like she is fully awake and alert right beside me, but she has laryngitis and can’t speak. I can tell inside jokes, and she gets them. I can make the same old quirky statements I used to, and she smirks. I can talk about memories we have together, and she smiles. I am a blessed man, because God has given my wife back to me with a sound mind.
I think it is probably important to communicate to you all that Antonia has not been considered in a comma for some time now. As soon as she began making conscious actions she was technically out of comma. The comma scale is put together in such a way that a person receives points for certain things they do; the best score one can get is 15, and the worst score one can get, if there heart is beating and they are breathing, is a 3; 8 and below is considered comma. Antonia was a 4 for three months, but now she is most likely somewhere in the teens. I am not exactly certain as to her number (they haven’t retested her), but from what one doctor said from observation, she is certainly not considered in a comma any longer.
As you know from the last update, we have been having communication issues with the doctor at Arden. I have been working on getting the chiropractic neurologist in to see Antonia, but it looks like we might have to take her to his office once a week. We have recently had a physiatrist see Antonia, and this has been good because he is a medical doctor who approaches patients from a rehab perspective. They are more holistic in the sense that they seek to put together a plan combining medicine and therapy. They are often more open to having someone like a chiropractic neurologist treat her as long as they understand the procedures and are convinced it won’t put the patient in any harm. We are thankful for this change and pray that he will be more open with us and more aggressive, consistent, and directed with Antonia’s therapy. Antonia also receives occupational, physical and speech therapy 5-6 days a week at Arden, which the physiatrist will also begin to coordinate.
We will be posting a few new pictures including one of her sitting up and holding herself up, and another of her first time standing(with help, of course). So, look for those soon on this website.
Antonia also now moves her head up and down to answer yes and side to side to answer no. It makes it so much easier to communicate. We do not know how long she has been able to do this, but seeing as I didn’t ask her, there is no way to tell. You never know, maybe she was wondering why we didn't ask her to move her head instead of lifting her finger, but as you can gather by now, I am not the sharpest knife in the drawer when it comes to rehab therapy. Anyway, this makes communication much easier in many ways.
A week or so ago, when we were out in the courtyard at Arden with Antonia, we let her taste some lemonade… and she liked it. Mary (Antonia's mother) let her taste some apple. She would scrape a slice of apple with a knife and the juice and pulp would collect on one edge, then she would place it on Antonia’s lip—Antonia really enjoyed it. Azaleah (our 6 yr old daughter) put a piece of apple up to Antonia’s lip and said, “Try some apple Mama.” To all of our surprise, she actually took a bite!! This kind of freaked us out because we thought she might choke on it. Thankfully she opened her mouth when we asked her to, and we were able to remove it.
Some of Antonia’s therapy includes things like: lifting weights, writing O's, sitting up, standing, moving legs, etc. Her legs seem to be getting stronger and she can move her right leg quite well. Please pray that God would begin the healing in her left side, as well as help her to speak (She is still unable to do very much, if anything, on the left side). We have been capping off her trach regularly now and she has still has not been able to say much of anything. Also, please pray for the financing on the house to go through, it is quite the laborious process because our unique set of circumstances.
Thanking our God,
Dean
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From: Dean HelleksonSent: Monday, March 07, 2005 9:13 PM
Dear family and friends,

We continue to see the encouraging signs of previous progress but no new or really significant changes this week. Antonia continues to smile and respond in various ways to her family and friends around her. She even thought it was pretty funny when I was joking around with a syringe and accidentally squirted her in the face with water.

Mary, Antonia's mother, was cutting Antonia's nails when I arrived one day. I sat on the end of the bed and Mary told Antonia that she was almost done, and that she would get up so I could sit with her as soon as she was finished. Not willing to wait, Antonia pulled her hand away from her mother and waved to me as if to say to her mom, "Stop cutting my nails, I want to hold my husband's hand—and I can’t wait."

The personnel at Arden continue with her therapy and have had her in a sitting position holding on to the tray table to stabilize herself. We received a new trach cap (the other was mistakenly thrown away), but it was the wrong one. We decided that instead of waiting for the right cap we would alter the one given us to make it work. We cut off a finger from a rubber glove and put it over the end of the trach. It seems to be functioning fairly well. With our new invention, we have again begun regularly capping off the trach for about 30 minutes at a time. We pray that this will be the beginning of being able to remove the trach all together. This will also allow her to vocalize more even though she didn’t make any sounds this week.

We are quite frustrated with the lack of communication between the doctor and ourselves. He has only seen Antonia once or twice for five minutes and then charged us an exorbitant amount. In addition to this, he has told the neurological chiropractor, who had been treating Antonia, that he is no longer allowed to treat her. I believe he thinks anything to do with chiropractic is equivalent to witchcraft. The staff at Arden are not talking completely straight with us, so we are in the process of finding out what we need to do in order to get the chiropractic neurologist in to treat Antonia. We will have our attending physician changed if that will remedy the situation, but at this point we are not sure it will. Please pray that God would open the door for the chiropractor to resume treatment. It has been several weeks since he has been able to see her, and we have seen the most progress with his treatment.

We currently have a purchase agreement on the house we were looking at, and if all goes well, we should be closing in April or May. One of the obstacles to my closing the deal is in receiving financing, which is contingent upon obtaining a permanent residency status (I’m a Canadian for you who are wondering). I need to show proof that my status in the States is secure. My current visa expires in June and must be reissued before I can get the financing. Please pray that my immigration issues would be resolved quickly, as it is always difficult dealing with bureaucratic entanglements.

Blessings,
Dean

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From: Dean HelleksonSent: Sat 2/26/05 11:10 AM
Dear family and friends,

This week has had its ups and downs like the rest. The rehab center that Antonia is in has increased the amount of physical, occupational and respiratory therapy. This is encouraging, as we want to be doing all that is possible for her recovery/rehabilitation. One of the things they did this week was to put a pen in her hand and ask her to make Xs and/or Os. She did pretty well with the Os, but the Xs were not quite as legible. This is yet another encouraging sign that God is performing miracles in my wife, giving us more than we deserve.

Also this week the occupational therapist put her in a sitting position in her bed with a tray table in front of her and asked her to try to hold herself up. She was able to do so. She did, of course, still have on her neck brace as her neck muscles are not strong enough to hold up her head.

A kind of humorous thing happened this week. After a month or so of our knowing that Antonia is able to see, we finally remembered that she is nearly blind without her glasses. Ooops! Once again I show my brilliance. Her contacts were removed when she was originally admitted to the hospital back in October and no one thought to put her glasses on once we were aware she was able to see.

The cap to her trach was unintentionally thrown away and until the respiratory therapist comes again we are not able to move forward with weaning her from the trach. This area of recovery/rehab is going quite slowly and we hope to get a more regular routine for this process.

I am in the midst of trying to buy a home that will be suitable for Antonia and our needs. Pray that God would make the transition and preparations go smoothly and quickly.

Please continue to pray for more of these shocking miracles; and more specifically that God would start to activate her left side. Currently there is little to no movement on her left side. We don’t know at this point what will be temporary or permanent.

You can also pray for strength, endurance and organization as Antonia’s mom and I try to manage the home with all its responsibilities (which Antonia managed so brilliantly).

God is good,
Dean

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From: Dean HelleksonSent: Sat 2/12/05 7:26 PM

Antonia has been having the usual off and on days. There are days when she does not move much at all, and then there are days when she is more active. When she is more active, we see those various encouraging things that we have already reported (moving to commands, smiling, etc.).

I am afraid that because I only report the positive, everyone reading these updates will think that Antonia is up and walking. Even though I get pretty excited about all her improvements, it is a roller coaster ride with ups and downs every day. We do have days where we think everything has gone in remission, and with a couple of these in a row, it can be somewhat discouraging. The improvements are continual if we look at them from a distanced perspective; however, on any given day it may seem as if she is regressing.

Thankfully Antonia appears to be over her bronchitis so we can resume trying to cap off her trach. This will be an attempt to get to the place where we can remove it completely, so that bringing her home becomes more feasible.

We are always thankful when we can get her to smile We know that she still has a sense of humor because when we joke with her, we can usually get at least a grin from her (and let me tell you, when she grins, it lights up the room—we all go home happy that day).

I can’t express to you all how amazed and how thankful I am for all your prayers.

May God bless you all,
Dean

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From: Dean HelleksonSent: Sat 1/29/05 12:56 PM

Thank you all for your prayers; it looks like Antonia’s bronchitis is on its way out. She has also regained strength and shown some more wonderful signs of improvement. On Wednesday, January 26, Antonia’s mom (Mary), Azaleah, Isaiah, and I were sitting around Antonia’s bed, and Mary asked her to smile. To our surprise, a big smile immediately came across Antonia’s face. This caused us all to burst out laughing and the more we laughed, the more she smiled; the more she smiled, the more we laughed.

On Thursday afternoon when I was alone with Antonia, I looked at her and said, “Hi, Beautiful.” And she once again smiled at me. That made my day!

Continue to pray that Antonia would have sustained strength; she tires quickly, and needs plenty of rest. She will be good one day, but then wiped out for three days after that. We also need to be careful not to over stimulate her. We see progress and we want it to come every day at the same rate. Patience is important for all of us right now.

God is faithful,
Dean Hellekson

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From: Dean HelleksonSent: Fri 1/21/05 8:57 PM

On Sunday, January 16, the respiratory therapist had visited Antonia in order to start the process of capping her trach—so they can eventually remove it. While he covered the trach with his finger, he asked Antonia to say a vowel. She took a deep breath and then said, “Ah.” Wow, what a shocker to all of us. She even repeated it for her father twice more that day.

Other than this event on Sunday, it was a fairly uneventful week besides a slight setback on Thursday. Antonia came down with bronchitis, and as a result, she is having difficulty with congestion and coughing. At one point she had to go back on oxygen because all the congestion would not allow her to take a full breath, resulting in her oxygen saturation levels being low. She no longer needs the oxygen, and the nurses started her on an antibiotic, which we hope removes the bronchitis quickly. They also x-rayed her lungs on Thursday to check for pneumonia, and all was clear (Thank the Lord!).

The respiratory therapist wanted us to cap her trach three times a day for thirty minutes to see if we could wean her off, and eventually remove the trach. While she was capped, we were supposed to ask her if she could vocalize. However, due to her congestion, this did not go well, so we are letting her rest and recover before we try again. Please pray that God will her of the bronchitis and that the trach will be able to be removed.

Thank you all for your prayers and support,
Dean Hellekson

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From: Dean HelleksonSent: Fri 1/14/05 8:57 PMSubject: Antonia Update

Update on Antonia:

This Thursday we had a magnificent and encouraging day with Antonia. Doug and Nancy Wilson, of Christ Church, Moscow came and blessed us with a wonderful visit, ministering Christ to us as they spoke words of comfort to Antonia. While they were speaking with Antonia, tears trickled down her right cheek. (I have never before seen her tear so much and it be so connected to a specific event.) I know she was truly affected by their comforting and encouraging words. God is good!

Following the Wilson’s visit, I had the most delightful time sitting by Antonia’s side talking with her about all that has happened from the time of her accident until now - at the recommendation of Nancy. (That’s how bright I am; it had never even crossed my mind to talk to Antonia about where she is and how she came to be there). As she lay there listening to the story, she was continually squeezing my hand - I felt like we were really connecting.

I also asked Antonia several times to squeeze and release my hand; she did every time! And whenever I tried to remove my hand from hers, she didn’t seem to want to let me go. At one point, as my hand lay under hers, she began to stroke the back of my hand with her thumb ever so slowly, as if to show affection. It was amazing, I felt as if she were going to come fully conscious at any moment. I was truly excited and my heart was glad.

Just as I was about to send out this update, we witnessed more encouraging activity in Antonia to share with you. Today (Jan. 14) Dr. Burns, the chiropractic neurologist, ran some tests on Antonia. When he asked her to raise her right shoulder, she did! When he asked her to flex her right arm, she did! When he asked her to wiggle her right toes, she did! When he asked her to move her right knee, she did! She even slightly tracked with her eyes. In addition to all of this already exciting news, she was able to respond to questions by blinking her eyes, once for yes and twice for no. Wow! God never ceases to amaze us.

Thank you all so much for your petitions, and I ask that you continue at the throne and ask for more undeserved kindness toward us.

May the God of Heaven richly bless you all,

Dean Hellekson


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From: Dean HelleksonSent: Sat 1/8/05 1:13 PMSubject: Antonia Update

Here is an update from Dean:

I apologize for not giving a recent update, but life was hectic during the Christmas holidays. Furthermore, there hasn't been a lot of significant change, but today we had a very encouraging thing happen: On command, Antonia squeezed and released her right hand five times. This is significant because it is her first definite volitional action. This action was confirmed by a chiropractic neurologist who is volunteering his time to treat Antonia. He uses various means of stimulating specific areas of the brain precisely targeting the areas that have been injured. He has visited her about four times now. We are grateful & blessed to have this doctor's help.
In addition to today's responses, Antonia has also been more alert this last week. She has had her eyes open for hours on end, and has shown more awareness on her face.
We are rejoicing and thanking God for all these little miracles from His hand. He is so good, and has been faithful in the details. His grace has been sufficient to sustain us through all of this.
The children have been doing as well as could be expected. They see their mama on a regular basis. Azaleah and Isaiah love to talk to her and tell her things when her eyes are open.
I thank you all so much for your prayers and all the monetary gifts you have given. We have been deeply impacted and blessed by all your kindness.
Continue to seek the Throne of Grace that we might find grace and help in our time of need. Continue to pray that God would keep performing these small miracles, and bring Antonia back to full health. Pray that God would give us wisdom, strength and courage to continually manage the details of life.

Abundantly Thankful,
Dean Hellekson